Will Shaver’s Blog

“In many cases, people hold apparently contradictory beliefs: that the state should protect land for farm and forest uses, while also supporting an individual’s right to use land without government interference. It is important to understand that these contradictory values are not the result of different factions or special interest groups disagreeing with one another; instead, they are internal conflicts within many Oregonians.”

– Big Look Report

I’m firmly in the “internally conflicted” camp myself.

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Zicam Medicated Spoons
“Virtually tasteless when added to any beverage”
Shaquille O’Neal
“Virtually short when standing in any crowd”

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I have a solution to Global Warming, Peak Oil, and the War on Terror. Really. It won’t take massive government controls and regulations on industry. It won’t force us to enjoy full body cavity searches at airports. It won’t take away our freedoms.

By my best-guess estimations it could be implemented by the end of the week. The Month at most. No massive government handouts, no huge new department of global chaos.

Here it is: An incremental Federal gas tax. From now and until the tax is $15.00 per gallon we’re going to increase the federal gas tax by .25c every three months. Public transit authorities can get exactly 50% off of the tax. This applies to all fuels known as “gas” including diesel, regular, jet, ethanol etc. If you’re propelling a vehicle by burning something you’re going to pay for it. A little bit now, a WHOLE LOT very soon.

I don’t care what we do with the money. Pay down the national debt. Fund child health care. Build public transit. Explore Mars.

As of today, we’re paying about $1.90 for gas in the US. Back in July of 2008 we were paying $4. So with this plan in place, in two years time we’ll be back to where we were this summer. Then two more years and we’ll be paying $6.00 per gallon. If you KNEW that big SUV would cost $17 a gallon to drive in 15 years would you really want a 20 year loan on it? Suddenly the math for a Prius is looking a lot better. You’ve got some time, but in the next couple of years you know you’ll have to move closer to work, buy a bike, a smaller car, learn the bus schedule, work from home etc.

The EPA won’t need to dictate average MPG standards for car companies: the market will do it far faster. Local governments won’t need to invest in downtown redevelopment: sub-urban properties will quickly become far less attractive to developers.

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Spicy foods are my vice. At most restaurants I frequent I debate ordering the Hot and the Extra Hot. Over at Laughing Planet sometimes I’ll ask for a second helping of their fantastic Habanero salsa. I’ve found that when I visit the Midwest the Hot at various Thai restaurants is about at the level of Medium on the West Coast. In Eugene waiters will ask if you want hot sauce, or how hot you want the dish. In the Midwest you’re lucky if they have any hot sauce other than standard Tabasco.

Back in December of 2008, my voice started to do weird things. It was weak, and completely lacked a high range. It felt like there was a large lump in my throat and swallowing felt funny. This throat problem may have been related to a rather nasty orange-snot-inducing sinus infection that I came down with after returning from Japan. Really, it was traffic-cone orange.

I did what most men do when faced with a debilitating condition: I ignored it, and continued life as usual. But it didn’t get better. Eventually I went to the doctor who referred me to a specialist who dropped a camera down my nose. Turns out my left vocal chord had decided to stop working. Fortunately it was stuck in the closed and therefore deep voice position. So next was an MRI to make sure I didn’t have a tumor of some type.

A week later, I had the privilege of wearing a gown, getting an Iodine injection and spending few minutes in some strange machine right out of Star-Trek. A few days later it turns out that I’m human and don’t have a tumor. But just to get a second look around, we’ll drop the camera down your nose again. That is after all what we do around here.

So then I was referred to a Vocal Therapist. (Note: The ‘R’ in Therapist is not capitalized.) She asked me about my voice, how it started, what had happened to me, etc. She didn’t know what she could do for me but told me but I could try avoiding spicy food, eating at night, soda, and anything else that tends to annoy throats.

Turns out that after avoiding spicy food, cutting back on soda, and not eating at night for a week or so my throat got dramatically better.

So spicy foods are now officially a vice, and I’m cutting back. Seems moderation is a lesson that I’m being forced to learn over and over lately.

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First an excellent photo of a shirt that resists Satin. I’d probably rather have a Satan or even a Stain resisting shirt instead.

This weekend I’m attending a dance contest in Washington DC. I’m pumped to go and dance, then go and explore the city. Apparently the dance event has a purple theme on Saturday night so I spent some time in a mall looking for a purple shirt that fits me. Finding clothing that fits is always a challenge, but today it seemed especially so. I have the double whammy of being both 1) tall and 2) not fat. This generally causes me some problems when locating long sleeve shirts as I can either have shirts that fit my arms or fit my waist but not both.

To avoid this disaster I was trying on short sleeve shirts and was simply astounded by how rotund one must be to fit in an extra large shirt. I attempted to put on a “Large” shirt and it was too tight in the shoulders but I could easily have fit a rather full grocery bag up the shirt. The extra large was still a bit tight in the shoulders but had so much room in the belly even Santa would have been asking for a fitted version.

Also of note was the complete lack of other customers in the store. Isles of marked down items and no buyers. Not a good time to be in retail.

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“The great irony of where we are today is that we had a Bush-Obama big-spending program that was bipartisan in its nature. We got big spending under Bush, now we’ve got big spending under Obama.”
-Newt Gingrich

Prior to the election I long maintained that we were really being presented with the following options:

a) Tax me at a high rate and spend the money killing people.
b) Tax me at a high rate and spend the money helping people.

While I’m not too happy with the first part of either of these two options, the second half was clear. I’d rather have a big spending on building back home than bombing somewhere else.

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Dear Eugene –

It has been too long since my feet have walked on your pothole ridden streets. Your dark skies and misty weather would sooth my lonely soul. For I know that after months of clouds and rain will come a flurry of color and beauty.

I miss the way I can get to any meeting on time even if I’m running late. I miss your hills and valleys, your cantankerous neighborhood groups and your farmer’s market. Your view of mountains on a clear day, and your year round temperate climate.

I miss your drunken duck fans and Saturdays spent at Autzen. I miss the friends, family, and likeminded people that also call you home.

I love you Eugene, and I’m sorry I ever considered leaving you. I’ll be back soon.

Your Native Son
– Will

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