Spicy foods are my vice. At most restaurants I frequent I debate ordering the Hot and the Extra Hot. Over at Laughing Planet sometimes I’ll ask for a second helping of their fantastic Habanero salsa. I’ve found that when I visit the Midwest the Hot at various Thai restaurants is about at the level of Medium on the West Coast. In Eugene waiters will ask if you want hot sauce, or how hot you want the dish. In the Midwest you’re lucky if they have any hot sauce other than standard Tabasco.

Back in December of 2008, my voice started to do weird things. It was weak, and completely lacked a high range. It felt like there was a large lump in my throat and swallowing felt funny. This throat problem may have been related to a rather nasty orange-snot-inducing sinus infection that I came down with after returning from Japan. Really, it was traffic-cone orange.

I did what most men do when faced with a debilitating condition: I ignored it, and continued life as usual. But it didn’t get better. Eventually I went to the doctor who referred me to a specialist who dropped a camera down my nose. Turns out my left vocal chord had decided to stop working. Fortunately it was stuck in the closed and therefore deep voice position. So next was an MRI to make sure I didn’t have a tumor of some type.

A week later, I had the privilege of wearing a gown, getting an Iodine injection and spending few minutes in some strange machine right out of Star-Trek. A few days later it turns out that I’m human and don’t have a tumor. But just to get a second look around, we’ll drop the camera down your nose again. That is after all what we do around here.

So then I was referred to a Vocal Therapist. (Note: The ‘R’ in Therapist is not capitalized.) She asked me about my voice, how it started, what had happened to me, etc. She didn’t know what she could do for me but told me but I could try avoiding spicy food, eating at night, soda, and anything else that tends to annoy throats.

Turns out that after avoiding spicy food, cutting back on soda, and not eating at night for a week or so my throat got dramatically better.

So spicy foods are now officially a vice, and I’m cutting back. Seems moderation is a lesson that I’m being forced to learn over and over lately.

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